were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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