Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize