at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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