I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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