all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
