Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
