ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
