Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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