Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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