I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize