im about as happy as oj after his trial
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
