I heard we made out
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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