Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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