I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
