I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
