K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
