Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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