you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
