So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
