at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
