So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
