Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
