i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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