just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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