he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
