ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
