Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so let's talk penis.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
