i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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