I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Enjoy the penises
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
