Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
