I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
