No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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