Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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