Plan B is the new Plan A
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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