i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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