Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
