drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How external is "for external use only"?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
