Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm passing your future prison.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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