Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
