Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
