Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize