His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You are a genius and a whore.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
