i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Drake has all the answers
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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