before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
