organizing the empties. That sober.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
