At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
