I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
