i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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