She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize