You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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