there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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