i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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