I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
