Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
