two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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