Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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