what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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