weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Drunk is not a location!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
