What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
