barbara walters just said penis...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize