not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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