Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Too much gin, very little bucket
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
