But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we're making bets on your personal life
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
