My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
