I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
