i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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