she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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