I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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