In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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