apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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