who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
