It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
