I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
