just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize