can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
