apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
